When you think of the time that’s passed by, when you think
of what future upholds, when your days are gloom and nights cold, it seems
there’s not much that future could unfold. There are days when you motivate
yourself and days that you just let go by. But the you within knows it’s an
imposter. It’s difficult under such circumstances to know how much longer can
you hold on…..
Well, I me myself isn’t really the way I have expressed myself but yes that’s precisely the way I believe I have always been perceived as. Nevertheless, I would share with you what I would refer to as a small fragment of my life hoping that it would reverberate some good memories from your life.
On a Sunday afternoon, in a new city, there’s a lot that one could do. And then some sloths like me would rather be home cussing the weather, the people around and a cup of coffee. But then this afternoon was unlike every other weekend that had gone by for the past one month for I was determined not to be confined within four walls. Instead I would go out meet new people, talk about things they do and try befitting myself in their scheme of things. I had joined a group, that was synonymous to a particular community needless to say, the members of which took extreme pride about being in it. Some ardent group members would plan a social gathering usually scheduled for on weekends and those interested would come to the stipulated time and venue and just merriment.
Yes, I leave it at merriment because I still don’t understand how one could have a good time with new people each time you attended a meeting. From where I came, people meet, strike a conversation, have good memories and then meet again. But this was never going to happen with me in this group. Atleast that’s what I thought then. Surely not today. And I say it because I planned to be there for not more than an hour.
A friend of mine Dinesh, had missed his flight back to Mumbai. Wasn’t actually the way I expect to be commemorated. Alas! friends are choices we make and live by. He had come to meet his fiancé over the weekend but couldn’t make it back to the airport on time. So booked another ticket for a flight early next morning, didn’t want to spend the night at the airport and hence remembered a friend who existed in the city. Abstaining from the reason of Dinesh coming to meet me, I was just excited about meeting him and our plan. So this meeting the group members for me would be short and insignificant.
On a wet evening, with dampened interest I reached the mall. The gathering was happening in an open area adjacent to the mall entrance. The place had eye candies all around but to me none worth a second look. Too pretentious, too plastic. My eyes continued their search for the ones I was there to meet. Pretty soon I came across a bunch of youthful boys and girls. Well some were just youthful at heart one could say. This, was supposed to make my life a little more eventful. Remember my plan? Meeting new people, getting to know what they do, hanging out with them, creating memories… The only problem with my plan was, I didn’t speak their language.
Well not literally, but it was nowhere close to being as fluent as the rest of them there. You remember the feeling when you go to school after taking a day’s break and then everything seems alien. The things happening around, the lesson your teacher’s teaching, the events your friends refer to. It just feels as if you have missed out on a lot. It was a similar kind of disconnect that I was experiencing. There was so much happening over there. Or probably my brains processed it that way considering the references being made by the people there. It seemed to be a well knit group with similar likes and dislikes. Just that I couldn’t associate myself with the group, atleast not yet.
Whilst all the commotion (safer to say within me), I sat on the pavement next to this girl. Considering the fact that I haven’t described in detail the characters in this story, I shouldn’t be dwelling much into this either. But…
There was a girl who sat placidly, gazing at everyone around with her sparkling eyes. She just seemed so happy about being there. She laughed listening to other’s comments. Her hearty laugh was simply mesmerizing, the one that could be associated to the way infants laugh. There was innocence in her eyes, her smile, her smell. The freshness alike rays of early morning sun, feeling of dew on the grass, aroma of hot cappuccino, sound of the cooker whistle. I don’t know why but yes I did hear my heart beat, quite literally. I sat there right beside her thinking what could be the best way to introduce myself in the language they speak. That’s when I hear myself say – Hi!
Though the next few minutes were basic getting to know each other converses, there was much more to it. I still haven’t been able to figure out myself if it was her eyes, her smile, her smell, her innocence, or just her speaking in English without a regional accent. No matter what it was, I was left dumbstruck. My senses wouldn’t function normally again. It craved and craved more for her. The thought of leaving that place was long scrapped. But I had to. I couldn’t have stayed longer as Dinesh needed free stay for the night. Yes, at first I hated him for not calling me while he was here. And now I hated him more for calling me and ruining my evening. Why couldn’t you just get on that plane? Why didn’t your girl keep you for the night?
Bidding goodbye to everyone there who were still busy talking about I don’t know who and what, I strode towards the parking lot. One thing was for certain. I had left behind something. People generally refer to it as interest. Yes. My interest in her had just begun. But I wasn’t going to let it wait. I wanted to know her more. Meet her often. How could all of this happen? Is it supposed to happen so soon or was I just desperate for a companion. These were thoughts on my mind that night standing on the roof holding my drink as my ‘good’ friend kept blabbering about the happenings back in Mumbai.
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